I called out of work due to covid for two weeks, had a panic attack and took a mental health day the week after that, and now im calling out again the week after THAT because I was in the emergency room due to cervical strain, and im so mad that capitalism is so ingrained in me that im mostly just worried that i am an ~unreliable ~~ employee and bc daycares have a staffing shortage bc we’re paid NINE to TWELVE AN HOUR in this economy, i gotta bear the brunt of that, feeling so bad when i have to call out
Social justice should be rooted in love of others but it’s obvious a lot of people just weaponizing social justice to be bullies and borderline abusive under the guise of moral concerns
The amount of TERFS and radfemmes reblogging this….the call is coming from inside the house
Also certain neurodivergencies can cause kids to be sensitive to certain foods and tastes and textures. That also isn’t just to annoy their parents. We literally can’t help it. If your kid freaks out at certain food, don’t force them to stay at the table until they finish it every night. Just give them different foods. Kids are not bad. They deserve to eat food they like that doesn’t make them sick. Be kind.
humans literally evolved to have a heightened sense of taste in childhood because smaller bodies are more sensitive to poison and adults are just like “nah kids are Picky Eaters™ specifically to annoy me”
Telling kids their taste buds will change as they grow is a game changer. I’ve known many kids who were yelled at so much for being a picky eater that they dug in their heels, refused to eat certain foods, and never retried them even when they were adults. But explaining how child taste buds are different in an “isn’t that interesting!” way will get the kids into it
Explain the science of taste buds to children, tell them it’s okay they don’t like certain tastes because it means their body is trying to keep them safe, and tell them they might want to retry foods throughout their life because they’ll taste different as they age. Every single time I’ve done this the child has been excited to retry foods as they grow
All kids are scientists. If you tell them it’s okay to experiment with food they’ll be eager to do it
Some foods will also just scare them off because they’re different every time you try them so it’s like a Russian roulette but for your taste buds, and I feel like a lot of parents seem to forget that.
Also undiagnosed allergies and especially intolerances are a thing.
I almost never ate fruit as a kid. Turns out I can’t digest most local fruits unless I take antihistamines first, but I only discovered that as an adult, so I was called picky as a kid because I preferred sugary snacks that don’t make me nauseous over healthy fruits that do.
I had a very similar issue. I have something called oral allergy syndrome, and the way it works is that I am severely allergic to every type of pollen in my home state, and the pollen is chemically similar to a certain protein that exists in a lot of fruits, vegetables, and nuts. This caused me to have a similar allergic reaction as I did to pollen. The thing is, this protein breaks down when exposed to heat.
So there I was, able to eat cooked fruits and veggies, but raw fruits, veggies, and nuts caused me pain. And when you’re a parent who doesn’t know that that’s actually something that can happen, you think your kid is just picky. I constantly got yelled at as a kid, and forced to eat stuff that genuinely caused me pain and discomfort because my mom wouldn’t listen to me. It wasn’t until I was like 15 that I was informed that I had the disorder.
So please, if your kid doesn’t want to eat something, you should listen to them. There’s almost always a reason for it.
Quick update: I’m currently in the process of being officially tested (once again, but this time with a knowledgeable doctor and not some dickhead who diagnoses people with Vagina Owner Syndrome when test results are confusing) and the doctor suspects either oral allergy syndrome too, or mast cell activation syndrome. Currently working with a dietician to figure out what I can and can’t eat too, because being forced to eat foods I can’t digest during childhood really fucked up my ability to figure out what’s a normal reaction to food and what isn’t in later life. I’m still discovering things that I thought were normal but actually are allergy symptoms on an almost daily basis and I’m friggin’ 30 years old.
So to people who saw my addition and the next one to this post and realised they have the same thing, talk to a doctor and know there’s a name for this.
And to parents: please listen to your kids. Sure, some will be fussy eaters, but if they genuinely hate a food or tell you it makes them feel “bad” or “weird” or “sick” or if it “tastes bad” or whatever other words they may use to tell you, listen! Kids don’t have life experience: they can’t tell you “hey parental unit, ingesting raw apple induces vomiting in my digestive system, so maybe don’t feed that to me” or “my neurodivergence makes me particularly sensitive to certain sensory textures and this food makes me want to claw my tongue out of my mouth”. They’ll use whatever vocabulary is at their disposal, and sometimes that boils down to confusing words like “tastes bad” even if it makes them sick, because that’s a phrase they know.
You’re currently setting up your kid for their later life. Everything you do shapes them. If you don’t notice anything’s wrong when it is, or if you minimise their symptoms, they’ll grow up to be adults that think what they experience is normal, and they’ll never get the medical help they need.
And I know you’re doing your best! You want to be the best parent you can be, you’d never actively harm your kid! Parenting is hard, and I acknowledge that! But just know that even with the best intentions, sometimes mistakes are made. This is just one way to potentially avoid such a mistake.
For people who have picky eaters, and for adults who have food struggles, I highly recommend books by Dr. Katja Rowell. She has a book for parents, another specifically for foster and adoptive parents, and a book aimed at teens/adults.
overstimulation/sensory overload really is like sorry I can’t hear you over the sound of my shirt tag being itchy and these two strands of hair touching my face and the tv and one of my shoelaces being undone and air touching me and the plane flying overhead and my own thoughts about remembering to buy hummus
Obviously the health officials did not talk to anyone even loosely affiliated with an actual school. For reasons big or small, terrible or sympathetic, parents send children to school sick all the time.
Schools have spent decades encouraging nonsensical levels of attendance, rewarding kids who don’t take a single day off all term/semester/year, and even punishing kids who take “too much” time off sick. Kids who actually get ill enough to stay home miss out on fun things and “prizes” and awards, because going to school with the flu (or almost anything else) is considered right, good, and necessary.
Then a pandemic comes along that solidly half the population insists is “just the flu” and you think people are going to forget that you indoctrinated them to believe that if they were capable of being conscious (and sometimes not even then) they should be in school? (And later, in work - this is at least part of the point of this stuff, training you to work while sick).
To say nothing of the simple fact that parents are frequently without childcare options and are forced to be in work even if they should be isolating. That’s also a huge problem.
my school district used to regularly remind us that they would take us and our parents to court if we had too many “unexcused” absences. my middle brother actually had it happen to him when his mental illness caused him to miss too many days. the way schools fixate on attendance is absolutely going to get people killed.
Does anyone who struggles with an anxiety disorder shame themselves because things that used to be easy now seem so challenging?
I’m flying home and I have all these nerves. I’ve flown home like 100 times. I’ve literally flown to New Zealand. I’ve literally PILOTED A PLANE. And jumped out of one. Why do I have these nerves? It’s like the disruption to my daily routine that’s giving me nerves. Nervous because I’m only home for a few days and I have assignments due during that time, and I want to see people but there’s Covid, and I have to make a decision about grad school while I’m home, so I’m sure that’s all building up.
But I decided to transfer to UNCW on my own and don’t remember ever feeling this confused or scared. I survived a semester of full time work and full time school before. I’m completed school assignments while being home visiting friends and family and traveling before. Why does it feel so difficult to function, like it’s all too much.
I’ve handled so much more. I’m beating myself up because I feel like there’s no reason to feel this stressed out. I didn’t use to be like this. While I feel I manage my anxiety really well day to day, whenever something changes in my routine I feel all out of sorts. I used to crave change. I don’t understand why I’m like this.
